A few Christmases ago, I revealed the cold, [dark truth about Santa][f77bbe9c]: he is alive and active, but will not visit your home (or mine) any time soon. Since then, I’ve explored other sinister facts about the world we live in. It is time you knew about Reggie, the Elf on the Shelf, and how he contributes to pervasive surveillance.
I’ve had a lot of stressful situations in my life. One of the more stressful was the finals period for the first semester of law school. What I love about most of law school is the lack of real homework, and the entire grade riding on the final. But nothing is more stressful than being left to your own devices. The first-semester Legal Research professor was a smart ass, and my break point was on the paper that was due in his class. I decided to give him a dose of his own medicine.
It’s that time of year: Christmas. When we commemorate the life of one of the greatest ascetics in history. When we demonstrate our obedience to his message of spirituality and selflessness by outspending the rest of the year. Santa Claus be praised.